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Comment by HankB99 | Hacker News Reader

FB has been a little creepy about death. A FB "friend" (e.g. not a close friend) had died and about a year later FB started exhorting me to reconnect with him. I located his obituary and memorialized his account out of respect.

Too many times I've been invited to wish a deceased friend "happy birthday." I go to their page and find it memorialized. Nevertheless, there are many friends wishing them happy birthday, oblivious to the indication that the page has been memorialized.

The worse was the time my wife discovered her brother had died via FB. He had estranged himself from the family decades earlier, but still... A shared friend posted the status to his page, otherwise we might never have found out.

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> oblivious to the indication that the page has been memorialized.

to come at this from a different direction, how is any different from the online version of visiting someone's grave? it could just be their way of remembering someone and letting others know they were thinking about them.

granted, i'd assume most people are being obedient to the Zuck by click the button, or a bot doing it, or many other fake/insincere means because I too distrust anything from the socials.

This sort of inherent distrust of humanity is probably one of the worst effects of social media.

But not unreasonable when considering how most people act when on it?

Most people you know, perhaps.

To be fair, inherent distrust of humanity has probably existed since the beginning.

It does have significant survival benefits in many situations.

When I am inviting people to an event on Facebook, and the list of suggestions includes someone who is dead, sometimes I'll invite them anyway. (This is fresh in my mind because we had a big house party last night, and three of the people I invited were dead. None made an appearance, to my knowledge.)

It feels about the same as inviting someone (alive) who couldn't possibly come, who would feel good to know they were being remembered - it's a little way to say "wish you were here".

> how is any different from the online version of visiting someone's grave?

If they visited a grave and said "let's do lunch" it would be no different.

It's often clear from the comments they leave whether they are honoring a friend who has passed or reaching out to someone they think is still alive.

Agree, it's quite creepy...

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