The average salary for an RN in LA is around $90k, a dentist around $300k, a SWE at around $150k, Aerospace Eng at around $115k, Pharma Researcher at around $140k, etc.
If you've been working in a white collar industry for a decade, and your partner has as well, you'll end up being able to afford a pretty large down.
Furthermore, it's very easy to find a job in these hubs, not just in Software but also in Hardware, Finance, Accounting, Pharma, Aerospace, and Government.
In addition, lots of people just like the weather. Polar vortexes, hurricanes, and snow does suck.
And finally, there are some people who might not feel as safe in Middle America due to their identity (racial, sexual, or gender).
This isn't to say that Middle America sucks (it doesn't), but people make rational choices about where they live, and it's insulting to say otherwise.
You have valid reasons to live where you live, and I listed those of mine and my peers.
I wouldn't expect many of my South- and East-Asian engineering friends from the Bay Area to just YOLO and buy a house next door to me. Heck, I've asked some of them, and yes, the culture gap weighs heavily on their minds.
A US-based colleague reports that what he doesn't like about traveling north of the Mason-Dixon line is when certain people hear his accent and assume his politics match theirs.
(as to New Orleans: it has the reputation it does because the catholic french history makes it much less WASPy than neighbouring regions, in many ways)
Off topic, but do I take it that you've tried living elsewhere and it didn't work well for you?
I had a great time living outside the Bay Area, but at some point you do end up missing stuff from your culture.
It's similar to how you see so many NY transplants complaining about Pizza or Italian food in SF.
It's similar for me if I'm outside the West Coast.
Asians are not homogenous, and we have extreme levels of ethnic diversity, and most cities and towns in the West can accommodate for that level of Asian diversity.
Also, at some point it gets annoying when some cities might be ethnically diverse but only show off "Italian" or "Irish" pride (looking at you Boston) despite having way larger Brazilian, Dominican, Puerto Rican, or African American populations.
If Boston, Chicago, or NYC's image is always going to be intertwined with Italian-American, Irish-American, German-American, or <insert European community>-American, I got the message. And "Chinese" or "Indian" American doesn't cut it when the difference between someone from Xian and Changsha can be massive, or someone from Kashmir and Kanyakumari.
I can't comment on Chicago, and don't disagree about Boston, but your perception of NYC seems pretty off-base. NYC is extremely diverse. According to Wikipedia, "New York contains the highest total Asian population of any U.S. city proper." https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asians_in_New_York_City
Likewise for the greater New York metropolitan area -- for example Jersey City is considered the most diverse city in the United States, and Bergen County has the largest percentage Korean population of any US county.
Several smaller ethnic groups are not well represented in NYC.
Indian isn't a singular identity but dozens, same with Chinese, Pinoy, etc.
If there's a specific Asian subethnic cuisine or community you want to find, you will always find 3-4 options within commuting distance in the Bay Area, but never really in NYC.
For example, if I want authentic Uyghur samosas, I have 3 options in SF, but only 1 that recently opened in ALL of the NYC metro.
Same thing if I want Bihari style cuisine, or Pakhtun cuisine, or Central Vietnamese cuisine .... (you get the point)
This doesn't matter if you are a large ethnic group like Cantonese or Gujarati, of which there are tens of thousands here, but it does matter if you're a smaller subgroup or you wish to experience different subgroups.
On top of that, Asians are well represented outside the Bay Area in other areas in the West - I can go to small town California and not get treated as an "other" because they had a community of ranchers who moved from India 100 years ago or have a multigenerational Filipino community.
If you go to small towns in the East Coast, you absolutely do feel and get treated like the "other".
I don't need to worry about a racial abuse in a town like Visalia but I have been called slurs in similarly sized towns in Upstate New York.
At the end of the day, California is Minority-Majority, and the rest of the West is trending the same way. Perpetually being a minority like out East, Midwest, or South sucks.
If I or my family ever needs some form of support from the government or social services, I can safely assume that resources exist to meet our cultural needs, but the same cannot be said out east.
Furthermore, we are VERY well represented in all rungs of government and civil service out West, but it's not the same anywhere East.
It's like what Ali Wong said - SF is basically Asian Wakanda
> Several smaller ethnic groups are not well represented in NYC
and this, which is what I'm disputing here:
> NYC's image is always going to be intertwined with Italian-American, Irish-American, German-American, or <insert European community>-American"
I don't think that statement about NYC's image is remotely accurate or fair.
> I have been called slurs in similarly sized towns in Upstate New York.
Upstate New York is multiple hours drive from NYC, and not considered part of the NYC metro area. Are you asserting that there are no places a similar distance from SF that will "other" people of color?
Edit to add:
> For example, if I want authentic Uyghur samosas, I have 3 options in SF, but only 1 that recently opened in ALL of the NYC metro
From a couple minutes of searching on Google, I see two options in Manhattan and at least four in Queens offering it as either samosa, samsa, or baked bun. Is this what you were referring to?