Part of the reason I wrote lmbench was to make sure that what you are saying is not true. And it is not in Linux, kernel entry and exit is well under 50 nanoseconds. Passing a token back and forth, round trip, in an AF_UNIX socket is 30 usecs. A ping over gig ether is 120 usecs.
Unless I'm completely misunderstanding, you are saying that the OS overhead should be "orders of magnitude" more than the network time, that's not at all what I'm seeing on Linux.
I guess what you are saying is that given an infinitely fast network, the overhead of actually doing something with the data is going to be the dominating term. Yeah, true, but when do we care about the infinitely fast network in a vacuum? We always want that data to do something so we have to pay something to actually deliver it to a user process. Linux is hands down the best at doing so, it's not free but it is way closer to free than any other OS I've seen.