Comment by extr | Hacker News Reader

Comment by extr | Hacker News Reader

This was unironically me in my early 20s. It wasn't so bad. Obviously eventually you get bored of this lifestyle and it's not really compatible with more "serious" responsibilities like having a family or more demanding jobs. But at the time I made good career progress, never got in any legal trouble, didn't pick up any worse habits, no adverse health outcomes, etc. And I think smoking weed for a few years made me permanently more mindful and less anxious (YMMV, apparently for some people the opposite happens).

For me, I eventually "grew up" and just found myself organically phasing it out of my life. Part of that was it was annoying to constantly be "picking up" in a state where it was illegal. And I didn't have access to giga-potent strains and non-flower administration routes. I don't think we should encourage people to be frying themselves 24/7 on dabs, extracts, 95% pure THC vape pens, etc. I'm not sure I would fully endorse 100% legality/open access like many states have. I still occasionally have a puff of a 10:1 CBD:THC vape pen and it hits the spot. But that is like 2% of what my local dispensary offers. Most of it is specifically sold as frying your brain.

> it's not really compatible with more "serious" responsibilities like having a family or more demanding jobs.

Can you explain why? I feel like weed makes me kinder to people (as well as letting go of small petty things, as the article suggested), which unironically seems like a major relationship booster, which is helpful in both family/career building.

A simple reason I don't smoke more often is because I might be asked to drive someone somewhere. Its a pretty common responsibility in a family, I would think.

I don't smoke and truthfully never really drank that much or that often but having a kid made my drinking go from not much to practically never for just the reason you're talking about.

Drinking went from something super casual to - think about it, check in with the wife to confirm that she can/doesn't mind doing any potential driving, then have a drink or two.

It's like scheduling a good time. Totally kill the vibe.

If you have kids you are not at liberty to be randomly inebriated throughout the day. That's what I mean by "responsibility". Even outside of hypothetical emergency situations where I might need to drive on a moment's notice, being high (or drunk, or anything) while looking after a small child just isn't right IMO.

It’s funny you say that because there are parents who can only do it if they’re high or buzzed on alcohol (wine moms, etc) You’re a good parent!

> seems like a major relationship booster

Not in my experience. Drugs of any kind usually cause your partner to feel too distant from the "real you". Drug use may also indicate a lack of confidence and inability to handle mundane situations.

Being an unreliable partner has to be one of the top relationship killers regardless of drug use.

> kinder to people as well as letting go of small petty things

I may be misunderstanding what you're saying here, but relationships should be way deeper than just being kind to each other. Disagreements are only as bad as the way they're handled. They need to be worked out early or the disappointment and irritation will only get worse. Burying your head in the sand doesn't sound like a good strategy.

Are you stuck in the 1950s or something?

I was really hoping for some kind of sources/statistics, rather than some subjective moralizing of what makes a good partner.

> I may be misunderstanding what you're saying here, but relationships should be way deeper than just being kind to each other.

Yes, but being kind is the cornerstone of a good relationship. In my observed experience, most relationships don't even have that, so it's a good ideal to strive towards (as a first step)

> Disagreements are only as bad as the way they're handled.

No. If there are fundamental disagreements on relationship goals, then your relationship is a ticking time bomb. You can't "handle" your way out of that.

> I feel like weed makes me kinder to people (as well as letting go of small petty things, as the article suggested)

It is possible to be this way without weed too. It takes practice but is very doable.

> But that is like 2% of what my local dispensary offers. Most of it is specifically sold as frying your brain

This is actually a problem for a friend of mine who wants to try small amounts to help with her appetite and other things. Her doctors are all on board.

Thankfully I knew of a decent place to take her, but her local shops were all about melting into a couch.

5mg edibles should do the trick depending on body weight!

Just like you don’t need to drink the whole bottle of whiskey in one evening- why not take just one or two puffs off the pen or a small piece of an edible?

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