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Stored procedures are awful. There, I said it.

Its storing transform code in an inscrutible way, hiding pipeline components from downstream users. The rest of your alarms and dq has to be extendend to look into these...

Oh an PL/SQL requires a huge context switch from whatever you were doing.

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I'm a bit surprised about the flak that stored procs have. Treat them just like any other, hopefully well documented, API, and they work perfectly fine. There are pros and cons, just like whether you decide to use react or htmx, python or golang, erlang or lisp, row based database vs column based vs kv, etc.

On the other hand, yes, going back to the days of poorly written and documented oracle pl/sql stored procs, yes, I shudder too, but then again, that can also be said of a number of public APIs that have been hacked/had side effects exposed.

It’s not a controversial take. They are awful, and thus haven't been used for new development for at least a decade, going on two.

I generate my pl/pgsql using Lisp. Which is another technology that has been dying for decades. The money it generates seems to work just as well as the money I earned writing js.

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