The momentum vectors cancel out, but the relative velocity is identical and the total kinetic energy is the same.
The damage isn't the same because car/car has twice the crumple zone. More of the energy will be dissipated through elastic deformation, so the deceleration will be slightly gentler. (Although almost certainly still fatal.)
That aside - the driver's ed book is basically saying that head-ons are much more dangerous and deadly than most people understand, even at low speeds. All of which is true.