I want to share what I imagine would be a controversial data point but one that I hope has value to this conversation - I recently decided to join a church just to reconnect with faith that I had pushed aside back in 2016, and with the church, a small group. It's working for me. I am making older friends for the first time in my life, and despite me generally not aligning with people politically, I'm just biting my tongue and not letting that define who I will spend time talking to the same way I used to.

I'm not advocating religion specifically as a solution for others, just saying it works for myself. But my question is - why aren't there secular alternatives to religious community where people could just go bite their tongues and get along despite maybe some of our superficial cultural differences? Why can't there be larger weekly meetings for people, with smaller breakout groups, and a general sense of bringing people together in a community? Why is church the only place I can find that? I don't think the "fraternal clubs" are the solution here as they give off a certain "old mans club" perception that I can't get past (and the lack of windows on their buildings has been noted). But maybe somebody here could put one together and see what happens.