It doesn't have to be that way though. You can use the AWS ingress controller, or you can use ingress-nginx. You can use external secrets operator and tie it into AWS Secrets manager, or you can tie it into 1pass, or Hashicorp Vault.

Just like picking EKS you have to be aware of the pros and cons of picking the cloud provider tool or not. Luckily the CNCF is doing a lot for reducing vender lock in and I think it will only continue.

Then don't use the AWS stuff. You can bring your own anything that they provide.