I use XMPP and then Cheogram for people who don't want to figure it out.

That way for people who don't care everything just works and for people who do they get a rich experience with E2EE. Unlike eg iOS/imessage I don't force them to use a different OS for this and I can talk to everyone from my laptop. Everything is 100% self hostable.

I don't know why you would use Matrix. Self hosting is awful, the clients are a huge mess, and it was bootstraped by the Israel based company that runs US telephone surveillance (it's kind of insane that's done in another country.)