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Gee with that attitude it’s a mystery why more companies don’t do remote work

Maybe try starting a cult instead of a company, you'll find more idiots willing to be true believers in whatever bullshit you've cooked up.

I’d be interested in whatever cult pays 140-200k a year + benefits

Not me (or the same person, hi! Interjection) -- there are remote jobs.

I'm three deep and over a decade into my career with them. They weren't a COVID-centric event.

That said, I sure hope the cultures are okay. Them and your cult.