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redis and mongo are the type of things i will yak shave to no ends so i don't have to deploy them in production

I’m honestly not sure what you are talking about. In my experience, Redis is super easy to run and manage in production.

If you like split brains, yes. :)

I'm with you. We've been using Redis in production for more than a decade and it's one of the easiest distributed DBs we've ever used.