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Comment by andruby | Hacker News Reader

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andruby·

Any tips for the person on the other side?

I often mention something without implying blame (or even assuming blame), but it’s still processed that way.

I’m trying to be conscious of this though.

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I have given up on people that can not process criticism. Its a vital aspect of working together, or even just living together. If everything I say is put on a scale, I simply dont interact with such people anymore. If you can't take criticism without the blame-game, you're not worth my time and effort.

> If you can't take criticism without the blame-game, you're not worth my time and effort.

QFT

Quantum Fourier Transform?

I had to Google as well. Quantenfeldtheorie is what came up for me, because Google insists it needs to show me german pages first... But I think what was actually ment is "Quoted For Truth"?

quoted for truth

Hard to say exactly what you're dealing with, but you could take a look at Nonviolent Communication.

I don't think there is much you can do. Everyone has different trigger points and a different past. Personally I often feel misunderstood or not taken seriously. So from my point of view just be genuine, maybe paraphrase what you heard (just a tiny bit) and the usual "start with something positive first". The latter can be hard for me too though because then I might think "no they can't have such a positive view of me" - it's complicated and I even have a hard time explaining it.

So no real tips, sorry. "we" just have to learn how to live with it ourselves

If this is a consistent person in your life or a partner. The communication has to improve. Improving communication maybe impossible but I think it’s the only way.

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