I'm sure there's more checks and verifications and signoffs than just "Bob says go!" I'm also sure that such processes are still very fallible [0], as demonstrated by any number of friendly fire incidents over the last few decades [1], or the London Metro Police shooting a Brazilian electrician on the train [2], or the IDF shooting three Israeli hostages trying to surrender [3]. Some mistakes, some bad decisions, some practices allowed that hadn't gone wrong until now... if my innocent family is dead because of that, I'm definitely not going to excuse them because someone else started the fight. And my willingness to allow for accidents in the fog of war is going to shrink every time such accidents are repeated, or revealed to be policy rather than mistake, or just an unwillingness to do anything to avoid them.
[0] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_bombing_of_the_C...
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tarnak_Farm_incident
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shooting_of_Jean_Charles_de_Me...
[3] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Killing_of_Alon_Shamriz,_Yotam...
[edit: fix formatting and correcting info]