When I was in college twenty years ago, I was in the military. We did PT and ran often. The best I ever ran was after a summer of relatively slow but "longer" runs, maybe an hour or so each a few times a week. The best two mile time I ever got during PT tests, was just under 14 mins. I could never seem to break into an "effortless" run, like some of my fellows who just seemed built for it. And I NEVER enjoyed it, not even in the slightest. I never had any kind of endorphin rush that made me feel good.

As I got better at running and wasn't constantly gasping for breath, I moved from an active dislike to barely tolerated.

A few years ago, I finished up about 18 months of running on the treadmill for 50 mins, three times a week. The only way I could stand doing that was by watching something on the TV so that my mind could focus on something other than the running. I got more physically fit over time, and it was therefore "easier," but I again never experienced anything even close to enjoyment. Every step required discipline to stay the course because at every moment I didn't want to be running.

One day, something just snapped for me in whatever part of my being governs emotional will, and I stopped.

I would love to figure out how to run in a way that builds up my motivational reserve rather than constantly depleting it, but that method, if it exists, has escaped me.