... with some GNU components stuck in 2006.
See also: Lame ain't an MP3 encoder, natural gas, DPRK
See: any BSD.
All of the things you mention in your post have _alternatives_ that also comply with whatever they reference: there are other MP3 encoders, there are other types of gas, there are other democratic republics…
And more importantly, GNU isn’t Unix.
Why would you write this? Are you trolling, or do you believe that's really what was meant?
And if I found myself in a shop where I needed to use standard command line tools to do my job but wasn't allowed to install or update them, I'd be looking elsewhere because life's too short for that bureaucratic overreach.
I hear horror stories like bosses not allowing their employees to choose their own tooling. Pretty much any office like that which doesn't have armed soldiers guarding the building deserves ridicule.