"they're usually nerds, geeks, and other socially alienated people who have always felt below everyone else (jocks, popular kids in hs) and finally have some sense of superiority so they revel in it and you combine that with their already stunted ability to socialize or interact with people and it becomes a fucking mess"
I feel like this is the problem. When I was in the Air Force, we had the same issue with people who had been picked on as kids or who had never been in a leadership role. You could tell they had a chip on their shoulder and just loved the fact they now held superiority in some small way over the same type of people that used to pick on them. This generally made them the worst leaders, by far, and made them incredibly difficult to work with because their smugness alienated everyone else.