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I dug into it, found this clip. Elon says that it’s those two tiny knubs! Saw a few pictures and yes, I confirm, it’s not the grid fins.

Great find. Still image from the video: https://imgur.com/a/3VHsZV9

that is a ridiculous amount of weight held by such a small thing

Small is relative. They’re about 7 inches in diameter: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub6HdADut50