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Thanks, it's been a while since I last looked into it.

Will my self-hosted account be able to talk directly to other self-hosted BlueSky accounts?

Yep!

and will a bunch of hostile feminists be able to place derogatory "labels" on my self hosted account or put me on nasty and rudely named lists branding me a right winger or a transmysoginist or whatever like they currently do on bluesky?

If you are any of those things, it doesn't hurt to warn others! hth

My understanding is that users and third-parties can offer various moderation services that users can subscribe to.

So anyone can label/mislabel/ban/block anyone else, but everyone can chose whose labels/mislabels/bans/blocks to follow

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