To my ears, there is nothing more cringe than “work hard, play hard”

Ah yes, the good old family/friends angle. And it's true... well, kind of. What they don't tell you is that what they expect from YOU is that you'll behave like TheBiz is your second family (loyalty, sacrifice, forgiveness...), but of course for TheBiz you'll still be just an easily replaceable cog in the machine... anything more would be WEIRD, right?

Off the charts levels cringe.

Just be professional and treat employment like any other business transaction. Why is it so hard for founders and HRs to not be full of shit and treat their employees with dignity and respect?

Like, come on, TheBiz and I are not family, we're not friends and we will never be anything of the sort. We have a somewhat common goal (of making money), but that's about it. It's a giant red flag to (pretend to) expect anything more.