But that’s under some weird, incorrect model of how money works. Presumably if we go down this route any further you’ll start talking about IS/LM and the money multiplier. All models are wrong, but there’s a better model that involves capital constraints and the Basel accords.

In any case, one of the major failings of modern macro is to assume you can think your way around the implications of economic actions. You have no way of knowing the consequences of stashing money under a mattress unless you actually do it, and even then there’s no guarantee the effect will be the same across different economies and in different eras. The world is just too complex for that.