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Comment by colanderman | Hacker News Reader

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colanderman·

I'm surprised in all this discussion not to see the distinction between a wake and a funeral.

The advice I've heard is, go to a wake to support those who are grieving, go to a funeral to grieve yourself.

(For this reason, the wake is held at more "convenient" hours.)

Do others make this distinction? Is the practice of holding a separate wake a regional/cultural thing?

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I think the naming varies. In the UK for example, the funeral typically indicates a religious thing and the wake is the reception thing you go from the funeral to .It's usually in a pub. There's usually bad food. You have a drink. You have a good conversation with all the people you haven't seen for ages. You remember your friend/family member/colleague whatever who is dead.

Oh interesting! My background is northeast US; the wake (a.k.a. calling hours) precedes the funeral, typically the evening prior. There's no food, it's not religious (held at the funeral home), and well-wishers stop by for the reasons you mentioned. There's a sign-up sheet for those who will be attending the funeral.

There is also a reception at a restaurant immediately after the funeral; this is almost strictly for close friends and family though.

I think the wake is more of a Catholic thing perhaps?

Maybe (I was raised Catholic), but I also attended a wake of a teacher of mine who was Jewish (culturally if not religiously). Thinking more now, where I'm from (northeast US), "wake" and "calling hours" are synonymous, whereas they might not be in other parts of the world. So I may be perpetuating some confusion of terms.

I think in parts of the US that's certainly true. Northeast US is predominantly Catholic too.

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