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The way that my friends have described it.

Neither of them are actively looking, going to events, on apps, etc.

But if an opportunity presents itself with a friend or whatever they have already established that it’s fine.

It’s still open, but it seems the difference is seeking it out vs it just happening.

Guarantee you one of them is actually always looking.

The door is not wide open to potential partners, but it’s also not closed —> door ajar.

Thanks for the explanation, it helped, but I still have no clue where does the "ajar" thing come from, letter for letter.

Ajar, to mean, slightly open. So, not a open door (anyone), not a revolving door (everyone), and not a closed door (no one).

It's a bit of a contrived term and there's not much to read into it. It's like how "hitting a home run" is slang for getting laid, and rounding the bases was an associated metaphor that evolved from it; they only make sense by the association with the original metaphor.

...Oh, it's an actual English word, I didn't know and now I am embarrassed. Should have checked the dictionary.

Thank you!

I imagine it's like an open relationship with more rules around when and how one engages in outside activities.

They can pork other people if they want to.

monogamish