If you want to beat other romantically inclined geeks running scripts, you could make sure your script is running somewhere with low latency to that static IP. Use traceroute, looking glass, tools to ping from multiple regions to find the perfect place to run your script.

A VPS in the same region with good peering would be a start. Could see what else is running on IP addresses in the same range, maybe find someone who runs infra on a nearby IP who is willing to run your script.