Haha, if only. Read the wiki article on BMP sometime. There's RLE, huffman coding, all kinds of bitdepths and channel masks. Configurable halftoning algorithms. Embedded JPEGs and PNGs? 64-bit BMPs in some kind of fixed point format? And that's on top of the usual Microsoft DWORD BITMAPV2INFOHEADER; struct-dump gunk.
The real kicker is it's not even useful. Just say "unsupported" to everything that isn't a dumb RGB dump and no one will ever notice!