Calling Strangers Uncle and Auntie | Hacker News Reader

Calling Strangers Uncle and Auntie

solmaz.io

16 pointshosolmaz19 comments

For the USA

> Level 0: Blood relatives only. “Uncle”/”Auntie” is strictly for real uncles/aunts (by blood or marriage). No fictive use.

This is definitely not true for children in the USA. I believe it is common (or for sure it was common) that children use Aunt/Uncle for close friends of the family.

Agree. I’m in my 40s and used these as a kid to refer to close friends of my parents age/generation. My kids do the same. As have many other we know.

It’s sort of an informal Mister/Misses. Kids may call some adult Mister Firstname. But that seems formal for frequent use if the person is around a lot or in a houseguest.

As an example, my best friend from my teens into adulthood is more like a brother to me. His kids are more like nieces and nephews than my own, and more like cousins to my child. They qualify for “sleepover status” well before any of his friends would have slept over, they goof around and have a more deeper relationship with the family, things like that. So it feels natural for my kid to call him Uncle Firstname.

I am in Texas and this does feel like it may be a regional thing fwiw.

EDIT: to add, while this does exist, it's also completely normal and probably more common to just simply call the person Firstname even as a kid. When I think back on when/why it occurs, some people being called Uncle/Aunt, it's seems like the age the kid was introduced to them is relevant. Too old, the kid will likely say Firstname. Young enough, the kid was likely being taught manners and familial titles, so the adult was given one. Some families are more strict regarding these things. Teaching kids, and enforcing compliance, with old school manners like Mr/Mrs seems less and less common.

It is common IMO, I know several families that practice this. I am in fact an 'uncle' to a child in more than one non-blood family.

Maybe it's generational? I never heard it used for close friends of the family in the 1960s and 1970s. I've heard it in the last 10 maybe 20 years. (I'm not around children all that much, so I don't know how "common" it is.)

The UK is also at least level 1 and gets near level 2 (which somewhat undercuts the articles points about culture, language, and colonisation).

See the BBC programme Children's Hour from 1920s-60s. The presenters were Uncle or Auntie X.

I remember the usage for friends of the parents in the 1960s

I hear "cuz", not "Uncle/Auntie".

Surely that is for people near your age not your parent's generation.

You're right — not something I have heard a boomer say.

I meant cuz is used for someone of the speaker's own age and not for a person of the speaker's parents age.

ie ants/Uncles are your parents siblings and cousins are ant/uncle's children so your own age.

But yes I agree boomers don't use it in any case.

I see what you're saying, ha ha. And you're right — it's people addressing those of the same age range. I didn't realize uncle and auntie were used for older strangers.

For Brazil, level 2 seems exactly right.

> ” Level 2: Casual acquaintances. Used more widely for neighbors, family friends, or community members you vaguely know, but typically not for an absolute stranger.”

I would specifically add to he list of examples your school teacher when you are a child and the parents of your friends, seems the most common usage for it.

Slightly related "What kind of uncle am I?" by Reymond Chen https://devblogs.microsoft.com/oldnewthing/20090427-01/?p=18...

I grew up calling every stranger uncle and auntie in India. My British roommate in Delhi was a bit taken aback when I called our landlady "auntie".

In Spain, tío and tía are used with friends, depending on group/region. Calling a stranger that? Not friendly, but neither openly hostile.

On the other hand, it's common to refer to third persons as "un tío" or "una tía" the same way you'd say "some fellow" in English.

This is also common in the Italian/Greek/Indian etc. American subcultures. Immigrant cultures take their time - and sometimes never - in absorbing the larger anglo-saxon culture into their own.

In Tamil (and South Indian states), it’s common to call elders appa (dad) and amma (mom). Mama & mami is user typically by a small sect of so-called upper caste people.

In India, at least in Hindi, there is uncle and aunti for strangers and the blood relatives have their own words (mama - brother of mother, masi - sister of mother, bua - sister of father, etc). Whether these specific words are used for non-blood relatives is kinda specific to the people in question.

So I wouldn't say there is any implicit kinship there. If I call a random stranger "uncle" then there's no real meaning to it. If I call him "mama" or "chacha" then that would be implying a relationship.

Speaking as a Bengali from India, we are definitely level 3. Also, this extends to grandfathers and grandmothers.

Reply on news.ycombinator.com