It's a very niche target you're aiming at. Most people want kids, most people want someone who works, and most people don't want to travel fulltime. Your advice really seems tailored to you and no one else.
not at all. yes I have specific needs in a partner but there are plenty of women in colmobia, mexico and elsewhere that would be happy to live in the united states and start a family. my partner and I discussed it and she's happy to do so when the time is right. She's young enough that we have plenty of time.
by all means, if you like the attitudes of american women, go for it. but if you're a good guy and jsut can't seem to be valued by them, I also suggest getting out of the country and seeing what you can find. even if things dont work with my partner, I personally would never date another american woman. I wont say why because I would rather not get downvoted.
While I personally think it’s a pretty bad way to live life and I more agree with your overall stance (my wife is American but she is second generation immigrant from an Asian country and I can quite appreciate the difference in culture you are hinting at, thankfully she grew up with strong values from her parents more consistent with the ones of a first-generation immigrant like myself), I admit it’s going to be hard for him to fit the last requirement with someone from abroad (it still can be done though).
My speculation is that he comes from certain cultures that tend to be extremely aspirational, and given his looks and general transactional attitude he is going to be extremely disappointed in the long term, and he is robbing himself of precious years of love, affection and meaning chasing silly pursuits like cosmetic surgeries to improve his dating odds.
But I agree that if he wants all those requirements he probably should look for someone who is already a professional in the US.
Overall, I'm interested in a more balanced relationship. I want to be involved in my children's day-to-day life and be a present partner as well. I can certainly make enough on my own to afford a $3m mortgage, private school for the kids, and so forth. I've already done it but it has a great cost in terms of my time and energy. I'm not interested in a transactional relationship where I'm used for my financial resources. I don't want someone to be with me due to their reliance on me for financial support either. I've been in that situation already and it's not fun to question whether someone actually loves you or just loves your ability to spend money on them.
I'd rather be with someone who genuinely loves me for who I am and can keep up with the demands that living in the bay area requires. I come from an incredibly poor background and don't expect someone to be where I'm at but if they can't even afford to support themselves adequately with their own labor in some place like NYC or SFBA then we're going to be incompatible.
I hate to tell you. But really attractive women don’t have to work.
And you are going to be single for a long time…
And if she has all of that, why would she date “down”? She can pick anyone she wants. I don’t know anything about the parent commenter. He said he was “unattractive” and I assume lacks self confidence. I’m in no way trying to criticize him.
And if he were born “poor” (again his words), he probably still comes across as someone who has “imposters syndrome”. Women can smell someone who lacks self confidence a mile away.
In my circle of professionals, most wives with small kids don’t work and even many of the wives that do work, the husbands can afford for them not to work. One entire income goes to things like college funds, investments, vacations, etc.
But you said in another reply that you made $700K and you really still need to worry about having a wife that works or her income?
I’ve travel full time for a year when I was making $225K with my wife and next year we plan to travel at least through the summer.