No, not really.

The meaning of

> "Being toxic on the right side of an argument is still toxic, [...]"

Is very straightforwards. Toxic behavior is toxic behavior. Sima shouldn't lash out in "toxic" ways even if she thinks she's right.

Otherwise shouldn't Hector be given grace because "his buttons were pushed until he exploded"?

Like, you fundamentally can't have it both ways. Excuses for Sima's comments work for Hector. Condemnations of Hector's comments apply to Sima. Anything else is a double standard.