> why it can't be like
Here is another mistake: in many cases it be.
Me too, which was why I was very surprised when I discovered light switches in the USA worked backwards[0]. :D
(When I initially read your comment I didn't notice the use of "button" by which I guess you're referring to a push-button toggle style switch? But either way I still think light switches are an interesting example of non-obvious things that don't work the same way in all environments. (Even ignoring the "one light controlled by multiple switches" situation.))
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That was an unnecessary spend then. You should ask yourself why ffmpeg still exists if if it's that hard to use. There's a plethora of simpler tools that exists for simple uses (handbrake, XLD,...). The truth is that if you want versality, there's no better than ffmpeg and it's core usage is relatively simple. It's an input | filter | output pipeline, with various options to fine tune each one. If you don't have the domain knowledge, it will be hard, just like a layman inside a plane cockpit. But if you do, everything makes sense.
Same with a lot of other software. There are bad design out there, but if something persists with no other incentive than its users, you should probably ask why first.