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Comment by mahoumaigo | Hacker News Reader

I'm also like this. Some part of me feels that any moment spent not honing a skill / advancing in some way is a wasted one. I know it's a bs perspective, but still I find myself taking it constantly. I do manage to force myself out of this way of thinking from time to time, but it requires conscious effort to do so.

I imagine this forum has its fair share of people who fall for this "overachiever fallacy". I'd be curious to hear how others deal with it.

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For the longest time I railed against the fact that I am mortal, and my time is finite. I wanted to squeeze everything I could into my days, and I would feel guilty about projects I didn’t get to. This is despite having a wife, kids, house, full time job.

Eventually I burned out on programming-based side projects. I switched to activities that do not require staring at a screen. So I build analog electronics, study music.

Then I had a heart attack. My mortality and the fragility of life was never more clear. I accepted that I could die, and let go of all the mental baggage I was holding onto.

I’ve felt ‘cured’ ever since. I don’t recommend anyone get a heart attack. But I do think people fall into patterns, and get stuck inside of them. Sometimes a “pattern interrupter” can break us out.

I had that mindset, but then an overwhelming amount of personal and work stress made me change. Unfortunately, as I wrote in a comment further up, now I feel like I’m too far on the other side, where all I do after work is relax.

If anyone has suggestions on striking a balance, I’d love to hear them.

I share the experience of all 4 parents of this comment. It turned out I had undiagnosed ADHD. After diagnosis all my life suddenly made sense. Before the diagnosis, my situation had progressed to a point I’d get burnout by just everyday life, let alone work. Everything was overwhelming. Treatment turned my life around.

Later, I found out I have autism too - many autistic people “mask” around other people, altering their behavior to hide autistic traits. This is another thing causing (temporary) burnout after being around people.

LOL yes. I have diagnosed and treated ADHD, and my therapist suspects (but it is currently undiagnosed) that I am autistic. Super fun times.

In terms of side projects, I’ve deliberately curated a smaller set that meets multiple criteria. Social connection, simplicity and elegance, and the ability to start and stop at will.

At work I am always looking for ways to do more than one thing at once. Learn a new skill. Teach something. Solve a small problem. Make myself feel good. Take the solution to the next level.

I think it’s okay to want to always be honing and advancing. Humans are always seeking lower energy paths. Maybe you just need to expand the scope of the skills you’re seeking. One of the most valuable skills in my work is the ability to stop and think about what I’m actually trying to do. That is honed through stopping and observing (meditation).

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