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This dynamic is very important to realize, in personal relationships as well. When dealing with someone problematic, it might seem like the events are extraordinary. But usually they are extraordinary only for the impacted, not for those who cause it. It might be just a Tuesday for them (ignorance), or it might part of the plan itself (malice).

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Yes, very good point. They will sometimes try to normalize it, which makes it hard to spot.

Indeed, in both cases, it's perfectly normal for the other person to do this! So attempts to bring attention to it will be fruitless. The "ignorant" person will see nothing out of place, and will be bothered by the to-them baseless accusation, and the "malicious" person will be threatened by the realization, so they will try to sweep it back under the rug.

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