Grace, Frustration, and Becoming a More Empathetic Engineer

eckertalex.dev

2 points·razzzfaz··3 comments

I wrote this after realizing I’d been getting more easily frustrated at work—especially with decisions I didn’t agree with. Not in a blow-up way, just a slow burn of annoyance that builds over time.

What’s helped the most? Actually talking to people. Getting to know them. Being vulnerable. Not always easy, especially remote, but it makes a huge difference.

This isn’t advice—just some reflections that helped me. Curious if others have felt similarly or found ways to stay grounded when frustration creeps in.

Yes—this resonates. I’ve been noticing something similar in myself, and one shift that’s helped has been learning to slow down—especially my own thinking. When frustration shows up, it’s often because my brain is racing ahead: judging, predicting, rehashing. I’ve started to slow down my thoughts sometimes, not leap to conclusions or solutions, and let things unfold rather than immediately steering them.

Not every conversation needs to go somewhere. Not every disagreement needs resolving. Sometimes just being in a dead-end convo for a bit—is the move. That shift alone has helped me feel more grounded, less reactive, and most importantly to me conserve energy and effort.

Also agree on the human connection part. It’s so easy in remote work to turn people into abstraction layers or sources of friction. Taking the time to actually know a few folks makes everything else smoother—even when we still disagree.

Appreciate you sharing this. There’s a quiet skill in learning how to stay human at work.

Thanks, I really appreciate you reading and sharing this—it means a lot. Loved what you said about slowing down and letting things unfold.

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