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Does this mean spam sms could be waking up my car even without a sim swap?

If they did it right, these would be setup with their own range of numbers that can't be routed from anywhere outside of their carrier and servers.

Cell companies have a word for a setup like this but it escapes me.

Closed User Group (CUG)?

That's it!

Tesla has a custom APN

APN does not influence SMS (nor phone number routing) though.