Another idea: if your content is ~5kb text, then serve it to whoever asks it. If you don't have the bandwidth, try to make it smaller, static, and put it on the edge, some other people's computers.
You can surely expect that a static content will be static and will not run jpegoptim on a image at any given hit (a dynamic CMS + a sudden visit from ByteDance = your server is DDoSed), but you can't expect that any idiot/idiot hive on this planet will set up a multi-country edge caching servers architecture for a small sized website just in case some blog post will hit a few million visits every ten minutes. That can easily take down a server even for static content.
I concur that Anubis is a poor solution, and yet here we are, the UN it's using it to weather down requests.