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Why would you want that? Not like they work especially well with linux.

They work great with Linux.

No they don't… does the touchbar even work at all?

Mac pros

Why on earth would you buy an Intel Mac Pro instead of a much faster, cheaper, PC?

If you can buy one used for a steal, an Intel Mac Pro would make a sweet homelab server.

Even used Mac pros go for many multiples of their actual worth.

You mean "multiples of what I believe their actual worth is."

I mean many multiples of what it would cost to build an Intel desktop machine with identical specs.

The giant stable of macOS software & hardware I currently use didn't break overnight, and most of it doesn't work with linux.

An i9/32GB RAM MBP now costs under $350 used. It will only get better.