Take a look at https://github.com/kubernetes/enhancements/tree/master/keps/..., which is hopefully landing as alpha in Kubernetes 1.34. It lets you run a controller that issues certificates, and the certificates get automatically plumbed down into pod filesystems, and refresh is handled automatically.
Together with ClusterTrustBundles (KEP 3257), these are all the pieces that are needed for someone to put together a controller that distributes certificates and trust anchors to every pod in the cluster.
As someone who has the same experience you described with janky sidecars blowing up normal workloads, I'm violently anti service-mesh. But, cert expiry and subjectAltName management is already hard enough, and you would want that to happen for every pod? To say nothing of the TLS handshake for every connection?