They definitely have a victim complex. Few years back, when I complained of the then-insanely poor performance and scalability of the Synapse server, they told me to spend a few thousands of bucks on a high-performance personal server, and to educate myself to set up and maintain a Synapse instance, which was then and is still much harder to do than running most other server software.
Hell, I was told I was a some sort of bad person for being unhappy with room joins taking hours or even days.
After exhausting all other options, they have improved their software a lot (it's still not perfect, but definitely usable), but their poor attitude has soured their reputation, and made it really difficult to be enthusiastic about Matrix.