If you want to explore connecting with people I can highly recommend social dancing.

>People hate small talk because it avoids this

I don't believe that. You can connect with someone before you've exchanged names, and you can fail to connect with someone you've shared your life's story with. This is the same mistake autists at my dance school make (including myself). They believe connection demands a rational exchange of valuable information. In dance that would be the technical complexity of whatever you're leading and the grace and mastery you lead it with. In language it would be sharing hopes and fears.

Small talk robs you of all that. It's a true measure of someone's ability to connect.