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I find any computer without at least a 20" screen unusable

The new 18.4" (though widescreen, which is not as large as squarescreen) laptops get close. http://news.google.com/news?q=18.4+laptop

There really has to be some sort of phallic thing going on for someone to decide to get something that big.

They're just portable desktops, no surprise that they're huge.