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Do they check passports to validate who goes where?

How is access controlled here? Surely not based on the passport right?

Based on passport. If co-passenger complains, crew comes and demands travel document.

...Are families forced to ride separately?

What country is this, anyway? Y'know, so my wife and I can never ever go there.

This is about sleeper trains, it's normally "women" and "mixed".

Most countries with sleeper trains have this, say Italy and Germany.