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> em dashes require at least a little bit of code to replace with their correct grammar equivalents

Or an LLM that could run on Windows 98. The em dashes--like AI's other annoyingly-repetitive turns of phrase--are more likely an artefact.

The replacement doesn't have to be "correct" -- does it?

Just replace them with a single "-" or a double "--". That's what many people do in casual writing, even if there are prescriptive theories of grammar that call this incorrect.