Um, you don't see the problem with that when it's your father / husband?
Where is the line drawn? Am I abusing my spouse when I decide that we're a bit too over-stretched financially and that we're going to need to skip the surprise Disney World trip that I had planned but hadn't yet told them about?
What about if I think they just didn't try their hardest during the family softball competition? Are they abusing me?
What exactly do you call that? NoT ThE SAmE ThInG As "AbuSE"?
People do selfish stuff all the time. It’s not abuse even if it’s shitty behavior. Abuse means more than that.
It would be far worse if you let her divorce you, typically. Divorced women in East Asian cultures (well, Asian generally) are not treated well.
Not everyone works the same way.
That is a very toxic thing that people do in relationships all the time. It is used as a rationalization for prioritizing one's own desires.
If you think that is very toxic, that is the tip of the iceberg.
To really put icing on the cake, they do it because they have plenty of examples of how badly people screw up their lives if someone isn’t doing that for them.
looks around at the opioid crisis in the west right now. Not that we would have anything like that going on.
There is no perfect, just different trade offs. And everyone usually cringes at the trade offs everyone else makes.