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Unless I missed it, the OP doesn't quote reducing bloat as a motivation- more just working without javascript.

I took it to be along the lines of an "easier to work with" type motivation, rather than reducing package sizes.

Is it really a script though? IIUC it's more like contextual declaration (e.g. of previous char is X, then use style Y), no?

Remember llama.otf?

llama.ttf