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Comment by ChrisMarshallNY | Hacker News Reader

I'll say the same thing that I always do. For some reason, it's not popular, hereabouts, but it's worked for me, for over 45 years.

Get involved with volunteer/gratis work. Join an advocacy/charity group. Do stuff for free.

HN members have really valuable skills that can make an enormous difference.

Joining a volunteer organization brings together passionate, action-minded people that already share a common platform.

It can also teach us a lot. My personal career was significantly helped by what I learned, doing volunteer work.

Boom. Loneliness problem solved.

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Maybe dumb question but how does one "join a volunteer organization?" I tried a long time ago but got ghosted.

Not a dumb question.

Depends on the org.

Many large orgs have smaller chapters locally, but there are often regionally-relevant ones.

I’d start with personal passions, and work from there. It won’t really work, unless it’s something we care about.

Volunteer orgs tend to be fairly disorganized, and there’s usually a lot of lively personalities. If one seems too dysfunctional, try another. Don’t just go for one.

Also, it can take some time to get into the “inner circle.” Like any human society, trust takes time to build. We need to be willing to start small. Get to know the place. Figure out where we can make a difference.

I’ll bet that ChatGPT would be a great source of information.

Phrases like "I’d start with personal passions, and work from there" and "we need to be willing to start small" are NOT actionable, they are meaningless platitudes. Not to mention it assumes everyone has "personal passions," an the majority of people probably don't.

I didn't "just go for one." I spent like a month trying to volunteer , for anyone. I was on medical leave from work at time time so I had plenty of time to give. Nobody ever got back to me or picked up the phone. It was worse than applying for a job. I have an anxiety disorder, so even reaching out caused me massive stress and anxiety. So I caused myself distress to feel more worthless than I already felt. My heart is racing and I'm on the verge of tears just typing this up.

So I'll ask again, how does one "join a volunteer organization?"

I am not the person that "ghosted" you, and don't think that I can give you what you want.

The suggestion I gave, was in good faith, but it seems that your "question" was not. I am truly sorry that you had a bad experience, but I wasn't the one that did the nasty.

Have a great day!

>The suggestion I gave, was in good faith, but it seems that your "question" was not.

My question was absolutely asked in good faith, not sure why you think it wasn't? You, yourself, made it sound very easy. I was looking for advice since you've made it sound like you've easily succeeded in volunteering and I wasn't able to. I was hoping, at the very least, for you to share how you got started.

And yeah, it's kinda offensive to get "draw the rest of the damn owl[ed]"[1] when you put yourself out there to genuinely ask for help.

And I still am asking for advice if you're willing to share. I would still love to volunteer.

[1] https://teachreal.wordpress.com/2025/01/25/now-draw-the-owl/

Do you live in a metropolitan area, and if so, which? I know a number of places one can volunteer where I live, but if you are on the other side of the country, that wouldn't be much help.

Given that you have an anxiety disorder, you might look into volunteering with animal shelters--dogs are said to be calming.

Or, just walk into the vestibule of a church. In many cases there will be a bulletin board with a notice of volunteer opportunities, or a Sunday bulletin with the same. Note that this does not imply any religious commitment. Nobody's going to ask for your baptismal certificate if you're volunteering to sling hash for a dinner program.

I don't live in a metropolitan area, which is probably part of the problem. I'm not rural either.

The local animal rescues around here all ghosted me back then. I also fucking hate dogs with a passion (dirty, noisy, annoying, infuriatingly needy) but I do love cats.

I never thought about looking at a church bulletin, so thank you for that suggestion at least.

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