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Yeah, I am still learning to not be logical and fix whatever ails her. Often she really just wants to be heard, not solutions.

I am ~30 years old, hopefully I will be able to just hear, without offering any solutions. It bothers me too. I am a SWE because I love solving problems!

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> It bothers me too. I am a SWE because I love solving problems!

In my case, I've recently been wondering whether I really love solving problems, or rather just hate stupid bullshit and solving it - quickly and efficiently - is usually the best way to make it go away for good.

In many cases, the behavior is identical - I just find myself to be motivated by frustration more often than curiosity these days.

Yeah, I can relate. I would say I am motivated by frustration more than curiosity as well, not just with regarding to my partner but in general.

The real trouble is knowing what being heard, means. For me, as long as no one's intending to make this situation better, I'd like to go do other things. How long do I have to stay there pretending to lament that her life is so hard--especially when part of that is because she hates having her problems solved?

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