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Great, now I just have to rip Unity out and shove Gnome 3 in there with a shoehorn.

Have you tried the GNOME Remix installer? I haven't given it a try, but my understanding is that it comes without Unity.

https://wiki.ubuntu.com/UbuntuGNOME/ReleaseNotes/12.10

'apt-get install gnome shell' isn't difficult to type.

Then choose the gnome session - Unity isn't affecting you at this point.

I thought that too, until I tried binding Super+T to launch a terminal in Gnome Shell. Turns out Unity eats all Super keypresses even when it's not running.

One workaround is to install CCSM, rebind the dash key to some key combo you'll never actually need, then set your key bindings normally.

...or install Xubuntu.

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