The real question is what a judge would accept. I can't imagine any judge accepting "my cat did it".
Probably a real judge would want to say something like "Why are all of you bozos in my courtroom wasting public money with some two-bit shrinkwrap bullshit? I was good at surfing. I could have gone pro. I hate my life..."
proceeds to write a 75 page diss and bill taxpayers for that