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Because it's not web scale, mongoDB is web scale

You turn it on, and it scales right up.

Who cares what we store so long as we do it quickly?

I hear there's a great tool for this, DB null or something like that.

MySQL actually has a BLACKHOLE storage engine designed specifically for universe-scale data storage for those who don't care about persistence.

It does have its use cases :)

It's an older meme, but it checks out.

WiredTiger would like to have a word with you. It was made default in 2015 and fixed a broad class of issues.