"Enraged" huh? For "_eight years_"?

Care to show us your alternative? It'll be on Github or GoogleCode, or maybe your personal blog, somewhere we can download it, try it out, and criticize it too, right?

Surely 8 years of rage is enough encouragement to write your own replacement for ~1000 odd lines of Perl?

Or by "enraged", did you mean "annoyed enough to write critical posts on random internet sites, but not motivated enough to spend an evening or two solving the problem myself"?

"NERD RAGE" indeed…