Some people get worried about the idea of "federation", thinking that it somehow means their server is less private, and their data is being spread across a mesh of servers, and stuff like that. That's true in some decentralized/distributed chat protocols, but not in XMPP. Connections between servers only happen on-demand, similar how when you send email between different email providers, they will connect to each other to deliver the messages.
However we do have a feature which allows disabling federation access for specific accounts, for example to prevent kids from communicating with anyone outside their own Snikket server. This is a feature I want to expand on, so that you can permit communication with a limited number of approved contacts on other servers.