What most affects discourse isn't someone's name, but certain data one can find out if one knows someone's name.

What kinds of data? Depending on the conversation, it could be: age, nationality, academic credentials, profession, criminal record, etc.

The net could use a standard way to verify details that matter about a user. This would let users keep their real names private, without making it so easy for bot armies, paid agitators, bullshit artists, trolls, and others to poison public discourse.